September is here and so is Sharon Coyle-Saeed’s monthly blog post! Make sure to check back in October for her next post. Looking for Sharon’s post from last month? Click here.
Happy reading everyone!
It is all about me and guess what? It is all about you, too!
By Sharon Coyle-Saeed
I was feeling completely overwhelmed with everything that was on my plate or that was about to be on my plate. With going into an advanced internship at graduate school, my newspaper job assignments increasing, classes starting, full time housewife expectations still alive and well, both children transitioning to new schools this year, support groups to admin, texts, phone calls, messages and emails to respond to from friends, family, and a new cardiology health discovery of a triglyceride level of 517 and a “suspicious old myocardial infarction” reading on my CT scan a few weeks ago, how does one digest all of that when you are missing your large intestine and the small bowels remaining are laden with adhesions?
The answer came to me when I visited my holistic chiropractor, Dr. Harry B. Schick. I frantically communicated my above concerns while waving my hands expressively like an Italian describing how to make gluten free eggplant rollatini. He calmly pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and said, “Health and kids.” I asked, “What?” He clearly was not getting the intensity of my situation. This man of many words, pun intended, repeated, “Health, kids and if those items are in check, finish your school.”
He role played scenarios. “So, Sharon there is a great class at the Open Center, want to go?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “No, I would love to, but I am focusing on my health and kids right now.” By George, I think I’ve got it.
Equipped with this focus, I tested the waters on several friends and family. Guess what? It was gosh awful! I was responded to with disappointment, sadness, anger, feelings got hurt and I felt terrible. However, something quickly happened. Those who really cared and stuck around, did not take it personally(and it is not), they started to come around and say, “I am happy you are focusing on your health and kids.”
Something else happened. I started to focus on my health and kids. And I am no longer feeling so bogged down with all these choices and avenues. I am so clear and focused because my priorities are very streamlined. This is the first year since 2010 I am out of the hospital to attend not one, but both of my sons orientations and see them off to school. The smiles on their faces as they walk in with confidence knowing I have their back makes any disappointments from others fade.
Disappointments from others? Oh yes! In the past few weeks since making this decision or carrying out this brilliant recommendation, I have been called “selfish” too many times to count. I like to think of it as self-full! I try to explain it in this way when those around shout, “It is NOT all about YOU!”
Well, actually it is not all about me. It is about my health. If my health is not there, I will be in the hospital. I will not be able to wash my children’s clothes, help with their homework, make dinner, clean the home, be a present daughter, sister, friend, wife and support person. I will not be able to do anything. So, in actuality, it is NOT all about me, it is about keeping me healthy, so I can be there for YOU.
I love people. I love serving the community and helping others. I love family. Through self-care only can I even hope and pray to give back. Filling one’s vessel with water is not selfish. Giving all of your water and having nothing left to give, only leaves us both dehydrated.
Today, I dropped my eldest son off at school, made pancakes for my youngest, cleaned my home, exercised on the bicycle, checked in with the online support group, had some great convos with friends and family, took my supplements/making sure I am staying hydrated, taking breaks when I need to, and planning a trip to the Patriots vs. Giants tonight at Metlife Stadium. I have no idea about the rules of football. However, I do know that the memories made while being a present mommy for these two boys while they laugh at me as I ask who scored a homerun tonight will be priceless.
Sharon Coyle-Saeed was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 1990. She has three Associate degrees in Psychology, World Language, and Theater. Sharon’s Bachelors is in Journalism & Mass Media with a Middle Eastern Studies minor from Rutgers University. She is currently a graduate student of Clinical Social Work at Rutgers University with a focus on Aging and Health. Sharon just completed an internship at Robert Wood Johnson/The Steeplechase Cancer Center. She is a Reiki Master Practitioner, a freelance reporter for Gannett NJ, an IET Intermediate practitioner and holds certifications in EFT (Level One), Angel Card Reading, Angel Realm Reader and Aromatherapy (Stress Management, Essentials and First Aid). To help others is her sole and soul’s desire.